Written by Games have been influencing me throughout my life, and I’ve been searching for ways and knowledge to make games for more than half of my life. (counting those days til now…) But now that I have the ability, knowledge and resources to create most games that I desire, I kinda fizzled out…
Ubisoft Singapore
After leaving Ksatria Gameworks, I joined Ubisoft (Singapore Studio) as a Level Designer. Its a great place with many experienced and creative people.
Everyday brings new challenges, I get to learn and understand more about design and games development.
Work-wise, it is somewhat easier than what it used to be, just focused on level designing (instead of in the past where I have to do not only design but many more things)… just responsible for my own level. And of course, financially, its (slightly) better and more stable.
… but somehow, the excitement is not really there anymore. Somehow, its feels more like a job than what it used to be.
The Loss of Motivation
Creatively, the notebooks that I used to have no trouble filling with ideas, theories and what-not have stayed stagnant. Nowadays, entries in the current notebook have just been sprinkling of notes of ideas for my work (as a Level Designer in Ubisoft, Singapore).
Coming home everyday, I find no desire to write or do anything. Even on the journey to work, I’m forcing myself to open my notebook instead of playing Monster Hunter on the PSP. (Yes, I’m still playing Monster Hunter… nope.. I don’t feel tired of it yet… )
Fizzled…
Maybe I’m burnt out, maybe I’m demoralized, maybe its a bit of everything together, but 6 years in games development putting all my heart, soul and sweat in, without releasing a single game, with all the previous companies that I’ve worked in all closed down, I’ll be lying if I say that I don’t feel anything.
Somehow, it feels better after letting out some steam.
… I don’t really know how to end this post, so I’m just gonna stop writing :p
